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My life, a Utopia?

September 23, 2011

My journey has only just begun, but I’m striving to live the life that I want to live.  If you’ve read any other of my blog entries, you’ll find that I’m trying to blog at least once per day.  I’m just learning to try and find who I want to be, which may be odd at 30, but it’s better late than never.  I could tell you my life story thus far and you would probably be sympathetic to it, but I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just looking forward.

I recently stumbled upon a website, http://www.thenonconformistfamily.com.  As usual, I was blown away by this guy’s story.  I’ve always thought that success is always measured only by your perception of it.  I’ll admit; I’m guilty of idealizing success in the form of owning a car, a house, a pet.  I recognize stability and responsibility as the building blocks of what I find success to be.  Somehow though, I think I’ve missed the point.

Am I happy with my life now? Less and less from what I imagined even 6 months ago.  I bought a house, racked up some debt, and am now inventing ways for extra cash flow to pay for all of it.  I have not yet reached the brink of financial instability and God willing, I never will.  I have plans, backup plans, and backup to the backup plans.  They are all laid out in my head on what to do if this, or if that happens.  I’m responsible in regards to my debt by the world’s terms; I pay my bills on time.  Despite all of this, I find myself looking to the book of Ecclesiastes and its explanation of the life I’ve built; “It’s all meaningless.”

The only true desire is to live life to its fullest, in God and for God.  A life lived for God is the most non-meaningless goal that I can think of.  In that life, I hope to find things like a wife, kids, and even a couple dogs.  Whatever path God chooses for me to follow, I plan to live it to the fullest, happy for what I have been given, excited to fulfill what is required; My Utopia.

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